Around the Bay for the 2nd time!

Last Sunday, I was lucky enough to have run the 30k "Around the Bay" race in Hamilton, ON.  I say "lucky" because it's an extremely popular run that seems to sell out more quickly every year.  This year was my second year.  I hadn't even heard of it before friends of mine told me about it in fall of 2011 and I thought it would be a great incentive to keep me motivated to run all winter long.  I had so much fun the first time around last year, I decided to sign up again!

This year, my motivation was similar...the timing of the race ensures that you stay on track with your training during the winter months when it's all too easy to hibernate...BUT this year, I was trying to look at it as more of a training run as part of preparing for my first (and possibly ONLY lol) full marathon on May 5th!

So hubs and I headed to Hamilton on the Saturday and enjoyed a quick tour of the expo and picked up my bib, etc.  The ATB race shirts you get with registration are always nice (although this year's colour is "watermelon"...it's a little BRIGHT but I'll deal...) but I also couldn't resist buying another ATB shirt, this one is short sleeved and super cute.

Saturday night, we enjoyed dinner and a visit with some old friends, Sabrina and Lorenzo (who were the friends who had encouraged me to register the first time around!)  It's so nice to know other people running a race....even though we wouldn't be running "together", there is something really great about being able to chat and have some laughs beforehand...a good distraction and for me...a way to keep my nervous energy in check!

Sunday morning came and weather conditions ended up being perfect...it's always hard to know how to dress for races this time of year sometimes but I was comfortable in tights, a light base layer and one of my Nike running hoodies.  I also wore a ear band and gloves but peeled those item off during the last 20km when it was really starting to warm up!  I had been able to do the majority of my long runs outside this winter which was great--so this mild yet cool weather was just perfect!  I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  I will never been a HOT weather runner. 

I'm not sure if I will ever get over pre-race jitters but as someone a few years ago pointed out to me...nervous energy can be a really good thing...as long as you keep it in check.  For me, it's always the anticipation that's the worst...

Once the race started, I felt good although I'll admit, my pace felt faster than it should have been.  I tried not to look at my Garmin very much but I could see after a few quick glances.... that I was averaging 6:00-6:10/km for the first few kms.  For a longer race like the 30 km, I would normally stay closer to 6:30...and I ended up, not surprisingly, slowing down my pace for the 2nd half.  I would like to think that if I had paced myself better and started out a bit slower, I might have ran the 2nd half better, but I'm not so sure if I could have.  The last 10km of this race is VERY hilly...and well, my training just didn't include hills as much as I knew it should have (especially since this was my second kick at the can and I really knew how hilly it was!!)  Still though...I powered through, keeping to my 10 and 1's and feeling like I finished strong.

My chiptime ended up being: 3:22:16.  I'm pleased with it because I tried to keep the perspective that this truly would be a training run, NOT a race for me.....but I STILL bested last year's time by a minute.  Not shabby!  Next year (if I register....although...who am I kidding...I probably will!), I think I would like to aim for the goal to break 3:20.  I know I can do it, and I know that I could have pushed a bit harder this year but wanted to run a conservative pace. That's not a bad feeling, you know?

After a rest day on Monday (feeling a bit sore going up at the stairs at work, not going to lie!), I was glad I had a massage booked after work on Tuesday.  I was able to enjoy a nice easy 7km run on the treadmill Tuesday night and then had an even better 11.5 km run outside after work on Wednesday night! 

I am SO glad I signed up for ATB again this year.  I had initially thought it might be overkill to sign up for ATB when I had my sights really set on the full..but I think it reminded me of the importance of pacing, and allowed me to practice everything I hope to bring on May 5th.

I feel like I earned that beautiful medal this year!  Bring on 42.2!

Powering through...

Lately, I feel like I've hit a bit of a personal slump.  Not sure if it's the time of year (I was SO happy to turn that calendar page to March...I'd had enough of February!) but it seemed as if there was a "perfect storm" of stressors happening and I was being pulled in all directions but not feeling like I was going anywhere.  Frustrating for someone who NEEDS to feel "on top of things".

I knew that training for my first full marathon would be time consuming...but I also know that in most ways, it wouldn't be *that* much different than training for ATB the first year I did it...just a few more weeks of build up. 

That being said, I have also felt guilty...that my focus is maybe a bit too much on running...and not on the other areas of my life.  Call it what you want...but really at the end of the day, it's just guilt and the rational part of me knows that it is unfounded.  A few times over the past couple of weeks, I found myself thinking:  "What's the point of all this?!"  It's almost as if all of the "you're crazy!" and "I don't know how you do it!" comments from some random and not-so-random people were starting to get to me and I started to question my goals.

Truth is...in many ways, I've never felt better.  And actually...maybe that's precisely why I start to question myself and feel guilty.  I'm one of those people who seems to have it bred in the bone to worry and stress even though things are fine...especially if they seem "too fine".  Sounds crazy?  It might not though.  I think there's a lot of people out there who do the same.

One of the things I'm really trying to work on is my ability to pace myself well for my long runs and build up the mental fortitude that I know I'm going to need especially in the last leg of the marathon.  It's almost as though I need to take this same approach to other aspects of my life.  Instead of losing focus, feeling scattered, or frantic...I just need to calm down, take a deep breath, and keep moving ahead.

Getting there...

Well, I am PLEASED to report my training this winter is feeling great these days.

First of all, I have slowly, slllllooooowly started to enjoy the rewards of working out in the morning...more specifically, actually running in the morning!  Many have tried to convince me that running in the morning was the way to go but it really has taken me a long time to truly get it.
What's different this time?  Well, partly my motivation comes from the fact that I want to get my mileage in but I don't want to feel like I'm missing out on family time all the time in the evening.  My hubby's work hours have become a bit more reasonable so he is able to take our little one to daycare a couple of mornings a week (it used to be me all the time) so this allows for me to get up, go down to our treadmill and get a good run in and only have myself to get ready in the morning (which any parent who is reading this will GET how HUGE that is!!!)  I have slowly started to learn the rewards of running in the morning...I feel FANTASTIC once I get going, it seems to truly "clear my head" and I truly like knowing that I have it done...no excuses!  Realistically, it's not always going to work for me but even to do one or two of my shorter week day runs in the morning gives the the variety and change I definitely needed!

I'm also really enjoying training for ATB 30 km...AND my first FULL marathon on May 5th.  I'm using the Hal Higdon Novice 1 plan with mindset of slight adjustments when I see fit and working it to work best for my schedule.  So far, so good.  The mileage starts to definitely get a little crazy in the next few weeks but funny enough, as each week ticks by, I'm feeling more and more confident that I can do this.  I've become a major fan of his.  This plan is conservative by some standards, but I think it's a realistic for me. 

I'm also LOVING winter running.  No doubt about it...this winter is really more of an actual Canadian winter than last year...but I'm surprising myself about how much I've gotten out the door and into the snowy and chilly conditions this year.  I'm loving it!  Last weekend, I got a chance to try out my YakTrax (bought last year but didn't actually need)

 

 They worked great and gave me confidence that I can be one of those "hardcore" runners I've always admire running in the snowy conditions.

During the week, my runs tend to be on the treadmill.  Mostly because of the time of year...living out in the country, no street lights and the days are short so realistically, I gotta stay inside regardless if I run before work or after work.  However, so far...my long runs have been almost exclusively outside.  And I've enjoyed every kilometer.

I also learned a little lesson on this past weekend's long run which was a cold but amazing 22 km run along the country roads where I live.  I always run with music...I just enjoy it.  Anyway, my iPod died about 11 km in...so I was truly only half way into my run.  Truth is...I gutted it out and ended up completing my run.  Did I miss the tunes?  Absolutely?  I totally missed getting lost in the music and the beat keeping me going...but I also proved to myself that when something unexpected like that can happen I can "dig deep" and get it done.  I could have seen the day not that long ago when I probably would have let that ruin my run and felt miserable for the rest of the day.  There was NO WAY I was going to let this stop me from finishing.  I am pretty darn proud of that! :)

Hope everyone is enjoying running this winter...whether you're doing it inside OR outside, at least you're doing it!

Las Vegas and...lessons learned?! (yes, really!)

Last Friday, hubs and I flew to Las Vegas.  A week of holidays awaited us...one of the main reasons we ended up planning it for this week was so I could run in the Rock 'n Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon on the Sunday evening and then enjoy the rest of the week in Vegas, siteseeing and just relaxing.

From the beginning, it was a bit of an adjustment for me.  This trip marked only my 2nd time EVER on a plane (not that I'm afraid of flying...we just tend to do road trips for vacations...) and my first "destination" race so even simple things like getting used to the 3 hour time difference made me glad that we got to LV on Friday night, giving us some time to adjust to everything. 

All in all...it was a fun race albeit I have some mixed emotions about it. 

I was VERY nervous and while I'd be the first to admit I'm not generally a morning runner or a even a morning person (ask my hubby and he'll tell you! ha ha!), I realized that the pitfalls of running an evening race is...lots and lots of time for nerves to build up.  Yep, nervous as HECK!

  Perhaps due to poor planning on my part, I didn't really think about what / how / when I would fuel for this race.  Typically when I run my long runs on the weekend, I stick to coffee, plain cereal, water...then I'm out the door (with gels and water for the road)...but a run later on threw me for a loop.  I essentially ate breakfast for lunch...but then questioned whether I should have something a bit closer to my run (I realized later, because I didn't actually start running until 5:00, that I should have had something mid-afternoon).

The half started at 4:30 but participants were to be in their corrals for 4:00.  Hubby and I walked down to the start area around 3:30 to be sure we knew where we were going.  He left once I got to my corral around 4:00 and I quickly realized that I would be standing there.  A. Long. Time.

I'm a pretty patient person and I honestly find it so interesting and fun to be around so many runners.  Sometimes, I still don't consider myself a "runner" so I almost feel like I don't belong but on the flip side of that, it's always inspiring to me to see all the different shapes, sizes, ages, etc out there and just running.  Still, there's only so much inspiration one can take prior to a race...I was in Corral 19 (corrals were based on predicted finish time) so by the time I got to the start gate, it was a little after 5:00 pm.  This is not surprising, given the thousands of participants who were there...but for some reason, I felt like it threw me...I felt a bit deflated after waiting and waiting and once I got going, my legs felt heavy and the sheer closeness of the other runners....well, for lack of better term...annoyed me! LOL   Again, nothing to fault the organizers of the race...but perhaps my own mental preparation...and even physical preparation.

The run itself was fun and a bit surreal.  Definitely the busiest run I've ever taken part in.  The wind was insane, so many of the mile markers were no longer up (which I didn't think would throw me since I had my Garmin, but I missed having that visual reminder).  At about 5km, I was just over 32:00, but knew this would not be my best race.  I took less walk breaks than I typically do and I know now that this was a mistake.  I was feeling pretty good early on and feeling like I needed to make up for lost time.  Not a smart move.  My pacing felt all over the place and I also made the mistake of looking at my watch A LOT ...I think because the mile markers weren't there...and also because I noticed that the satellite signals would come and go and that annoyed me! LOL  Then, as I headed into the last 7 km or so of the run, I realized any annoyances I previously had really didn't matter because the damn wind was just going to suck the life out of me anyway!!! Running against the wind is always something that I find very disheartening...I think mostly because it feels like maximum effort gets you nowhere.  I pushed...and felt at the time that I was giving it my all...but alas, the clock would tell a different story.

When it's all said and done, I finished with a time of 2:22:26.  The time itself  initially disappointed me because I had hoped to match (or slightly better) my time of 2:14 at the Army run in Sept.  After a bit of time and some reflection...and a super fun week in Vegas after the race...I think I realized that those races that are less than stellar are just as important as the ones that set PR's, etc.  I learned a lot from this run--the factors that are out of my control and the ones that I do control.  I totally can control my attititude and positivity level.  My inital reaction was disappointment with the time, but you know what?  It is what it is, and what an experience it was.  I did enjoy it (despite what this post might read like...trust me, it was FUN!) and I learned so much.  I also realized that one of the things I need to work on in running (and life, in general) -- is to just stop being so hard on myself.  Sometimes it's okay to enjoy, without having expectations attached.

 

With another half under my belt, I look forward to the next challenge.  After all, it's all about putting one foot in front of the other.

Staying Positive and Looking Ahead...

Some days, it feels like such an effort to just keep my head above water.  I'm sure most parents with little ones at home know exactly what I'm talking about.  I'm sometimes just happy to get out the door on time in the morning...the rest is just bonus!

That having been said, as the seasons change...I think it's natural that I start to think about what can keep me motivated and positive.  Motivation and positivity go hand in hand for me...and let's face it, those things are directly correlated to running these days. So, summer is behind me.  The Army Run is behind me. Now...what else?  Do I sign up for another race right away?  Or is it better to take a break?!

Hubby and I have been talking about planning a trip to Vegas all year...and we are finally going to do it.  We're going to time it around the Vegas Rock and Roll race and I've registered for the half!  It will be a first time for Vegas for me...and it will certainly be a huge adventure...we haven't really done a trip like this before together...and it will certainly be the longest time we've been away from our daughter. That having been said...I think the timing will be good...we have been needing some "couple" time...and part of me is pretty excited and anxious about doing a race like this...in completely unknown territory!  I'm doing the run early on in our trip so then we can enjoy the rest of the time together, enjoying the sites!

As far as goals for the Vegas run...I think I will approach it similar to how I approached the Army Run.  I didn't have a set time goal...I have a range I'd like to be in...but it's more important for me at this point, to finish strong and finish feeling good.  Speed may come...or it may never, I'm not sure.  For now, I feel strong and I feel good...and that's what will keep me runnin' for the long haul! ;)

Army Run

Well, the Army Run has come and gone...what an amazing race!

While it doesn't seem like it should have been my first half (probably because I ran ATB this year!), the Army Run marked my first "official" half marathon!

It was a thrilling race to take part in...I was a bundle of nerves because I was honestly a bit unsure of how ready I was for it. 

This summer, a big lesson I learned was:  I'm not a summer-weather runner.  With my little one, getting out the door in the morning during the week doesn't work AT ALL so by the time the evenings rolled around, I found it just too hot to put in the miles needed outdoors.  So,  I definitely did more treadmill time than I planned...but...all in all, I figured that I would do my best and stay optimistic.

The weather ended up being gorgeous....a bit overcast but cool.  Some people at the start line were wearing long sleeves (I even saw a couple of touques and mittens!) but I stuck with capries and a tank...because I knew after the first few kms, I'd be just comfortable.  I was right...probably around the 5 km mark, most people who had layers were peeling them off and tying their coats around their waists.

The route was beautiful...relatively flat with a few gradual inclines here and there.  Seeing the injured soldiers running was nothing short of inspring.  It was definitely a reminder that there really are no excuses for not getting your run in.  These men and women are absoutely my heroes. 

I didn't have a set game plan for the run--probably not a great idea--but I took short 30 sec walk breaks when I felt like I needed them (around every 2 kms) and kept my pace fairly steady and consistent.  I crossed the finish line at 2:14:32!!!

 I had no time goal really...earlier in the summer, my knee had started to bother me so I had started to slow my pace a bit...that having been said, I'm very happy with this time.  While training for ATB, the first time I had attempted 21.1 km, I ran it in 2:29, a few months after that, I had ran it in 2:18 in a training run.  I suppose in the back of my head I had wanted to try and crack 2:20 but I also went into the Army Run realistically knowing that I didn't have the mileage where I had hoped...and my only true goal was finish strong.  I did finish strong...I felt great and was able to boot it in the last kilometer which is always a fabulous feeling!

Now to figure out what to sign up for next! ;)

When someone calls you "fatty"...

Well, it's been an interesting week.  I was automatically reminded why no matter how far you think you've come, you can be instantly brought back to the past in a matter of a second.  An acquaintance of mine was half-assed joking early this week, when he breezed by me, saying:  "Hey Fatty!". 

Okay.  Logical me knows it is ridiculous to be bothered by this for even a second.  And I know that he was trying to be a smart-ass.  But it stung and felt like a huge slap.  In fact, you could have slapped 70 lbs right back on me, and threw me back in time.

I was never a "fat" child...but I was definitely bigger...always taller, always just bigger.  I longed to be petite and delicate but that was never me.  I was always back row, middle in all class pictures.  And I hated it.  Weight wasn't so much of a sensitive issue as size overall.  And...let's face it, kids are mean. And they were.

Me, in kindergarten, just realizing that some kids are mean.  Perhaps I was also just finding out that big bows are NOT all the rage...even in 1982:

But I digress. 

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I have worked particularly hard since having my little one in January 2010.  Not only did I realize that I needed to shed the baby weight...but I needed to shed the extra pounds that had slowly creeped up through high school, university, and beyond.  I really was sick of feeling "big"...and having Emma also made me realize that I wanted to live and be an active, awesome example for her.  Everyday.

In 2011, I committed to changes and lost close to 70 lbs.  I'm proud of this. And I've worked hard for it. And I feel like I've done it in the right way.  No gimmicks.  Just hard work.  I haven't been perfect by any means, but consistency, not perfection, is what brought me here. 

Me, August 2010                                   Me, August 2011

Not the greatest of pictures...but you get the idea.  Looking at the "before" is hard because I definitely was in denial about how big I was...and a comment like "Hey Fatty" would have devastated me then, now it stings but I think it reminds me of how, not that long ago, that same person wouldn't have exactly been "jokingly" saying those words.

Guess that's the difference, now, isn't it?  I'm angry.  I'm mad.  I'm mad at myself that  I could let those two words affect me so.  But it also reminded me that people who say these comments would say it to anyone, no matter what their size, no matter what the circumstance.   There is some comfort in other people's douchery.

I suppose I'd like to go back and tell my much younger self this too.  And I definitely will be making sure Emma always knows this:  she's beautiful, she's amazing, and  nothing anyone can say or do can change that.  It's taking me a looooong time to start to understand this. Truly understanding it.  And I'm still reminding myself of this on almost a daily basis.

On a lighter, more positive note.  As frustrating and maddening as these words were, they inspired me to have a great week.  Last night, I ran the fastest 10km time I ever have (55:25!) and it felt amazing.  I couldn't help but think of last week's bully.  And all the bullies before. Sucks to be you!

Until next time...