Lately, I feel like I've hit a bit of a personal slump. Not sure if it's the time of year (I was SO happy to turn that calendar page to March...I'd had enough of February!) but it seemed as if there was a "perfect storm" of stressors happening and I was being pulled in all directions but not feeling like I was going anywhere. Frustrating for someone who NEEDS to feel "on top of things".
I knew that training for my first full marathon would be time consuming...but I also know that in most ways, it wouldn't be *that* much different than training for ATB the first year I did it...just a few more weeks of build up.
That being said, I have also felt guilty...that my focus is maybe a bit too much on running...and not on the other areas of my life. Call it what you want...but really at the end of the day, it's just guilt and the rational part of me knows that it is unfounded. A few times over the past couple of weeks, I found myself thinking: "What's the point of all this?!" It's almost as if all of the "you're crazy!" and "I don't know how you do it!" comments from some random and not-so-random people were starting to get to me and I started to question my goals.
Truth is...in many ways, I've never felt better. And actually...maybe that's precisely why I start to question myself and feel guilty. I'm one of those people who seems to have it bred in the bone to worry and stress even though things are fine...especially if they seem "too fine". Sounds crazy? It might not though. I think there's a lot of people out there who do the same.
One of the things I'm really trying to work on is my ability to pace myself well for my long runs and build up the mental fortitude that I know I'm going to need especially in the last leg of the marathon. It's almost as though I need to take this same approach to other aspects of my life. Instead of losing focus, feeling scattered, or frantic...I just need to calm down, take a deep breath, and keep moving ahead.
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